When I started writing on here, I didn’t know where it would lead. I went through plenty of ups and downs. I wanted to quit many times and eventually, I did.
It all became too much. When I realized the money potential, it became my driving force. I researched popular topics, wrote about trends, then became discouraged when the stats didn’t reflect my effort.
I felt defeated. I blamed the system, blamed myself for not being lucky enough. I gave up on a platform I did well on. (700-ish followers may seem small to some, but it’s the most I’ve ever had anywhere.) I didn’t appreciate my growth because it wasn’t fast enough. I was disappointed when I lost followers or my numbers dipped. I became mad when my articles were declined by publications.
I forsook everything I earned because it wasn’t like others’ success stories. I was ungrateful and now that I look back upon that rough patch, I feel ashamed.
Writing, when treated as a competitive sport, doesn’t get you anywhere. It gives you a bad attitude instead. I let it reflect in my work and when I felt I had to start over and change, I quit. I didn’t know how to start over or where to begin — I thought it best to vanish from the platform altogether.
The emails of new followers surprised me. The occasional check-ins on my stats were astonishing. I was still growing in a place I gave up on.
What I didn’t appreciate while active, I do now.
This all reminds me of when I quit my first blog. I wanted to move onto bigger and better things, listened to the blog experts, and didn’t follow their advice to heart. I wound up with a dead website which I abandoned later on.
When I look back on it, it makes me sad. I’m not a regretful person, but I kick myself as to why I didn’t stick with it. My first blog was a measly free WordPress site. It was a trial to see if I could make something of it after telling my mom I no longer wanted to make jewelry for a living.
It grew. Nothing that was worth bragging about, but it grew. It had followers, comments, and a growing social media platform to compliment it.
I gave it all up when I became greedy. I wanted more. I wanted to take it full-time. I thought the readers would follow to the standalone website.
The lack of visitors and activity hit hard. Instead of returning to WordPress, I quit. It felt silly to return to my blog after months of silence and failure.
From there, I was lost. Until I found this place.
It wasn’t smooth-sailing by no means. It was bumpy and filled with obstacles, ones I put in front of myself. I self-sabotaged, self-pitied, and quit.
I thought of not coming back. I can’t say I’ll be consistent for sake of not falling into old habits, but I want to try again. For once I want to stick with something regarding writing.
I’ve come this far, achieved so much, and I know I’d be a fool for walking away entirely, all because I psyched myself out.
So thank you. To all of you who’ve read my articles, took the time to comment, and shared my work on social media.